of thoughts in ebb and flow

Archive for December, 2009

Women and blogs – the Emotional Quotient

The other day in conversation with a friend the thread wound it’s way to `why do so many women use blogs to express their feelings’. I was unsure if it would stand up to statistical validation , that women more than men, use blogs as mirrors for their soul. But it was intriguing.
We had our individual theories of course .. but at dinner last nite .. the truth was revealed to me. an epiphany.. an `apple’ moment
Imagine if you will that you are me, at my dinner table last nite. There are three other actors in this scene. My mother-in-law, aged 65, seated on my left, (henceforward referred to as Jhansi Ki Rani aka JKR. Why Jhansi ki Rani you say? Well .. but that’s another story .. lets not get side tracked all right?), my ten year old son on my right – sniffling and coughing from a viral fever, my husband seated opposite me.

JKR: (and to get the full effect of her voice please understand she is a recently retired high school teacher used to spending most of her waking hours repeating the same instructions over and over again to successive classes of unwilling students. This gives her voice a certain … ahem…. character and a `repeat sentence’ sub-routine is activated a minimum of seven times. After all you have to get through to divisions A to G)

” SO you know at Port Blair the tour operator’s person Jog told us we would go to see the Jarawas and .. y’know, they don’t really look any different. I mean .. you know, other than that they did not have any (with a quick glance at my son) clothes on they were just the same as others… i don’t know WHY he made such a big deal of it…. that tour operator guy, what was his name .. i just told you.. ag Deepa.. kay naav mhatla mee? …haan.. Jog, tar to kay mhanaala …Arre.. where’s the toop … Can u just get it…. haan .. so Jog….”

 Son: Mamma .. i dont want to eat … my head is aching…. Aaaaattchoo…..
Me: Scrambling around… ” Where is your handkerchief, did i not just give it to you…. No you HAVE to eat ….Aai… no no dont have that .. it’s …”

 Hubby: ” Just spoke with Kedar .. he wants to discuss this new venture he is thinking of getting into.. you know the company he is with now is not serious about building the indian market, so he has this software which sits in the mobile and ….. anyways this friend of his wants him to take on the business development part since he has been in this network security field and has good connect with all the banks and telcos .. that will help .. and he’s sending us his business plan.. what do you think prima facie?”..
JKR cutting in,” You know in Chennai the Kumaran Silks shop ..”

Son: Can i have jam?

Me: No

Son: sugar?

Me: No

Son: Mamma I don’t want to eat……

Me: EAT .. you have to have antibiotics…

Hubby: ” Deepa . arre .. main tujhse baat kar raha hoon….Kedar ko Sunday bulaaon kya..”

JKR: “Were there any calls for me while i was away?…. Deepa … Deepa….is this FISH???…. Shee.eeee…”

Son: Mammaaaa.. I think I am going to puke…….

Phone rings…..

God.. I had forgotten completely about that Conf call ….SHIT…
And that was when, with everyone talking, all at once, at cross purposes… that the truth was revealed to me … women don’t WANT to use blogs . They are forced to.. because in the multiplicity of roles they are forced to assay they get lost somewhere.

Sure they have time, they have people they can talk with.. but they don’t have the SPACE to be themselves, undiluted. In between being mother, daughter, daughter in law, wife, girlfriend, sister, friend and the cacophony it invariably entails .. the blogsphere is the only space where there is silence, glorious silence .. and they can get a word in .. uninterrupted….. be the one and ONLY person that matters and to hell with others….

Moonlight Musings

I don’t have to
open my eyes
to know it is you,

I can tell that touch

from a million others

Not now, please

I need my rest
for tomorrow
is already
knocking at the door

I know u are here
but for a few moments
and that
with the dawn
you will fade away

But I must tell you

i am weary
of your wanton ways
here now, this moment
with no promise of tomorrow

So what shall we do now?

Which carefully hoarded
memory shall i slowly
that we may live it again?

That long ago train journey

where we whispered
all night through
while sleeping desert hamlets
sped by unheeded?

Or the night we savoured

in companionable silence
the sand nibbling our toes
while the warm breeze
teased the lovelorn fronds

Or when the melancholy cloud
matched my grief
tear for cascading tear
while you abandoned
me, to drown

Would u gather me up
on wings of fantasy
envelop me in
smells, sights and sounds
of faraway places I’ve never been?

Places and people
You have known
in ages past
who meant to you
as much as i do today?

Or would you rather that
we start something new
to be then tucked away
to cherish again
on another day?

(This was penned after a recent tryst with the full moon that unfailingly makes it’s way in through my bedroom window every month to re-new acquaintance)

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