I usually ignore `forwards’ but one last week really had me nodding in agreement. It was about this couple from the back of beyond and people they met wrote them off based on their appearance and then they … well that was not really what this is about. Coming back to the point ..it ended with `People forget what you said, they forget what you did, but they never forget how you made them feel’
The more I think about this the more it seems to me we are finally nothing but a set of feelings. We make snap judgments of people we meet based purely on how their words, actions or just their body language made us feel. Our goals, our ambitions are dictated by what makes us (or what we think will make us) feel good. When we blow away the dust on that box of memories what comes tumbling out is all those feelings… of elation, grief, disappointment, anger, contentment … attached, as it were, to people, places and events. But what wells up first and colors everything is the feeling.
I frequently find that when I remember something said to me and I struggle to remember `who’ said it, my mind says it is someone you are close to because you felt comfortable hearing it from him or it is someone you don’t quite know because you felt distrust… the feeling leads me to the person
We bought our home because we walked in and it `felt’ nice, I love the sound of whispering coconut palms and smell of raw mangoes and ripening jackfruit because it whisks me back to carefree summer holidays and the associated feelings of warmth, security and timelessness.
Businesses do this all the time -using our feelings to get us to act in a specific way. The deo that promises to make us feel handsome and irresistible, the donation that makes us feel good for helping a little orphan.. sometimes it is far more subtle..like when a hotel chain uses a particular fragrance in its premises that brings on associations of family and comfort to make us feel `at home’.
We choose our stores to shop at, restaurants to eat at all depending on how they make us feel. The person who said people who shop at WalMart do so because it makes them feel comfortable being themselves, that they are not being `judged’ is onto something.
We are nothing but a collection of feelings and the one who makes others feel good has the keys to open all doors!